As the days grow longer I quickly find my blank stares out the window a little uneventful. So, today I decided to focus my glazed eyes on the slowly-depleting bowl of hard candy here in my office. I don't eat the candy really. Not much of a fan, so I can safely rule myself out as a variable here... But seriously have we as adults not outgrown the phase of passing over the lemon-flavored candy in favor of the more desirable hues? I'll admit. It would be tough to knock cherry/strawberry of it's perch atop the flavor hierarchy. It's enjoyed a long, glorious reign as #1. Grape MAY have had a nice run in the 1980s. Maybe it was the cocaine. I'm not sure. Orange, god bless it, always a noble contender but let's face it... it's really the Canada of the flavor world ... we often forget it's even there. And there sits poor ol' lemon.
Why do manufactureres even bother churning this shittier Lysol replicant out of it's factories? It's always the last chosen. Like the fat blind kid at basketball camp. Put it out of its misery, please. Anything lemon is destined to remain at the bottom of the candy bowl for eternity until it becomes a stale, impenetrable nugget of shame.
Who in Washington is leading the lemon lobby? How hard is it to phase it out for something more favorable like ....kiwi. Anything for christ sakes.
But, alas, no. Lemon will remain a part of the candy spectrum for years to come. Life's a bitch. Don't even get me started on banana.
-Jonesy
